HIV tests are more positive than that guy
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
