I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
