Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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