Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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