I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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