Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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