I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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