i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize