I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
