Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
