I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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