Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Its about making memories worth repressing
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
