You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
