Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
