Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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