hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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