Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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