I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
