Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
