This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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