YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
