she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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