My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
