i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Everyone says I win the strip club
Randomize
