Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
