I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
