I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
