do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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