Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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