Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Hippo gnu deer
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize