She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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