Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
