Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
