Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
A bitchslap is in order.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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