she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize