I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
