it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
