Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
