I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
