the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize