dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
