Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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