didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Tell her she can't have a vagina
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
