don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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