Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
