Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
