you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
