Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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