Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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