We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize