so that wasnt chicken after all
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
