oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
