Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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