Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Randomize
