i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
