Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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