So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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