I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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