i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
