I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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