Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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